On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner!
No purchase necessary. Details inside.(The shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be?)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's just a suggestion.)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom)
-- Do not turn upside down.(Well ... Duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding
-- Product will be hot after heating.(And you thought?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron
-- Do not iron clothes on body.(But wouldn't this save me time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine
-- Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could
just get those 5 year-olds with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- Warning: May cause drowsiness.
(I'm taking this because?)
On many brands of Christmas lights
-- For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor
-- Not to be used for the other use.
(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts
-- Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3: say what?)
On a child's Superman costume
-- Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one)
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